By Caroline Matas, Ph.D.
As the first wave of college application deadlines looms, high school seniors around the country are starting to feel the pressure. With so many supplemental essays to keep track of–not to mention the big personal statement essay to tackle–it might feel like the best you can do is just knock out the essays as quickly as possible, skipping over the editing process. Here at Distinctive, though, we try to remind students that editing is, in many ways, the most important part of the writing process. It’s the moment when you step back and assess whether what you imagined in your head has made it onto the page coherently.
While there are some obvious things to check for as you edit your essays (spelling, grammar, and punctuation, to name a few), I’d encourage you to go the extra mile and consider how to make your writing not just readable, but remarkable. Here are five things students should keep in mind while crafting and tweaking their essays in order to maximize the impact of those 650 words.
Ditch the Introduction
“If I had to say what accomplishment I’m most proud of, I would probably say starting my babysitting business.”
vs.
“It was 7:30 AM and I was already covered in poop. The infant in my arms was screaming (she was covered in poop, too), and I had no idea where her 3-year-old brother had run off to.”
After years of learning how to write the perfect 5-paragraph essay, it can seem strange to students to open their essays without a neat little summary of what they’re about to discuss. Perhaps an introduction like that would be useful if the point was for your reader to quickly and clearly identify your main point and move on. Instead, your goal is to grab your reader’s attention and entice them to really read your essay, rather than skim for the main point and move on. As in this example (a real one, by the way, from my own teenage forays into babysitting), jumping into the action can both communicate your chosen topic and draw in the reader for the long haul.
Details, Details, Details
“I used to love going to my grandma’s house as a kid.”
vs.
“I’ll never forget the smell of my grandma’s house–musty, with a hint of cinnamon. Even before I could see the top of the formica counters in her country goose-themed kitchen, she included me in the process of her weekly breadmaking.”
Spot any differences? Incorporating sensory details into your writing is one of the easiest ways to elevate a story. When you show, instead of tell, your readers about an experience, it invites them to really put themselves in your shoes. Not to mention, it just sounds better! Look out for moments in your essay where you can punch up the prose by adding details of sight, smell, taste, touch, and feel.
Be Specific
“I see myself thriving at Generic University.”
vs.
“As someone who learns best through connection, I know Generic University’s close-knit student body and emphasis on professor accessibility will help me thrive.”
There are certain phrases that make a college admissions officer’s eyes glaze over (trust me; I used to be one). Pat phrases like “Generic U will help me become my best self” and “I learned a lot from my summer on the swim team” are the number one offenders. As Victoria writes in “How to Bare Your Soul in 650 Words or Less,” what your reader wants to hear from you is more. Generic U is the right fit for you–but why? The swim team taught you a lot–but what? How? (Another tip–if you realize that saying why or how would be restating something you’ve already said, think about whether you really need this sentence at all!)
Talk About YOU
Many of you might be too young to remember the 2001 hit song “I Wanna Talk About Me,” but Toby Keith was onto something. Your application essay should showcase what you think, what you like, what you know, what you want, what you see! Too often, students get into the weeds describing the technical aspects of their essay–the exact skills they learned at robotics camp, the specific days and times their favorite school club met, or the names of all their fellow seniors on the football team. While these types of details can be important, don’t let them get in the way of making your essay about YOU. Your reader cares less about what programming language you learned than how learning it changed you or opened doors for you.
Read Your Essay Aloud
This is not a specific piece of writing advice, but rather some of the most important general editing advice you’ll ever receive. One thing I tell students over and over again is to make sure they really hear their voice coming through in their essays. This is tougher than it sounds–after years of learning how to write formal essays, students tend to sound a little wooden in the first drafts of their personal essays. Reading your draft aloud (whether to yourself or to others) is a great way to catch grammar mistakes, but more importantly, it’s a way to check whether what you’ve written really sounds like you. Would you really use the word “gargantuan” if you were talking to your admissions counselor face to face? If you make a lot of jokes in regular conversation, have you infused your essay with humor? Taking the time to listen to your writing will help you quickly identify what doesn’t flow.
The good news is, most of the above editing advice is pretty simple to implement: you just have to bring more of yourself (your experiences, your memories, your feelings) to the page! The bad news is, only you can decide whether to put the time and effort into rereading and rewriting your work. If you do, the payoff might just be the difference between a “yes” and a “no” from your dream school. So good luck and get to editing!
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